Wedding has been postponed, my parents after the Chinese new year insisted that I postpone our wedding to a later time, so no choice but to do so
Today, I have been burden by forced allowance... I don't know what to say
Since young parents never taught me anything near to nothing, I learn most of the things myself from school, friends, peers, colleagues, rivals, television therefore i became an extremely individualistic person where I only care more about my own well being instead of other, this changes when i converted to Christian faith cause Jesus whom is my heavenly father taught me to learn to give so i start doing so, so my parents actually never taught me anything after I am able to start thinking, more like they expect me to go auto pilot and screw me nicely when i screw up, this is the environment that I have been brought up, to know what I should know when they expect it out of me.
The problem is this, I never know what financial condition my family is in neither know most things about them, they always give me the look and feeling that everything is ok, therefore I never took into care any of it and just live my life as I always did. They are not transparent about anything at all and always expect me to know everything they expect me to know
My parents has a dark history which actual non of us kids in the family know about it, it was the main cause that contribute to the downfall of this family, it has been a secret for so long and will remain cloudy until i don't know when, recently my wedding plans actually spark the whole mess out. Money has always been an issue in my family, yes, money is important, i know
Being threaten to give allowance to someone you used to look up to is not a good experience, it hurts so much inside especially when you are actually budgeting to give them the next month since you just came to know about the big mess.
I am very disappointed, my fiancee is also, I don't think we will be getting married anytime soon until we can afford to own our own house and move out of this place to start our own family. I don't want to live my life in a minefield
I don't know what the future hold, but I know my heavenly father will see me through this. Amen
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